Bullies are not born bullies, they are made…

I remember the moment I saw her crossing the street walking towards me…

My biggest fear named, Christina.

I was 10 years old (that’s me in the picture) and she was twice my size and for the last year she bullied me almost every day. She didn’t go to my school and she never asked me for my name; but for some reason I was her target. Maybe because I was extremely shy or maybe because she just didn’t like the way I looked. That day she looked especially mad. It was almost as if she was leaping towards me with her arms wide open. I decided to run, but it was too late. She pushed me so hard that I flew onto the street. As I lifted my head I saw her walking away laughing. I limped all the way home. Later my parents took me to the hospital and it turned out that I had a fractured knee.

I’m not sure exactly what my older sister said to her the next day, but Christina never bothered me again.

You constantly hear on social media or the news how bullying has become an epidemic. Kids fall into depression and some even commit suicide. This is so heartbreaking.

One day I was at the park with my babies when I overheard two ladies talking. One of them was sharing a awful road rage experience. Her last words were “After cussing the stupid idiot out for the tenth time I decided it was not worth it and plus my kids were getting fussy in the backseat.”

How I wish that she remembered about her kids sitting in the backseat before she yelled those vulgar words to the other car.

Last summer my husband and I housed three brothers for a month while their mother was looking for more permanent housing. These boys got registered to a school near us and after their first day of school I asked them how their day was. The youngest boy replied “I’m so mad that I have 4 blacks in my class!” I couldn’t believe my ears. He continued “They are so gross and they stink and I don’t like it that they're in my class!” Did I mention that this boy was 8 years old? WHAT? Turns out that his parents shared the same opinion about the African American community. Without even realizing it, the parents created LITTLE RACISTS BULLIES. How dare we EVER put a race down when we were all created in the image of God.

Children are exposed to so much hate either through conversations, movies, music, or video games. Have you seen what some of the most popular video games are about? Children get sucked into playing violent and gory games for hours shooting and watching guts spill out. The media glorifies movies like “JOKER” who is a sick in the head serial killer. People pay money to go see this disturbing movie. Kids even dress up as him on Halloween parading the streets proudly showing off their costumes. Children become desensitized to horrid and bloody images…

And then we get shocked when kids SHOOT EACH OTHER AT SCHOOL. Terrifying.

Recently my cousin’s son committed suicide because the video game he was playing told him to do it. His dad told us that the game would dare him to do silly stuff and if he did it then he would get rewarded. Towards the end of the game it challenged him to kill himself. At first the game was harmless, but as soon as you get sucked into it it gets scary and you’re in too deep to stop.

You see, the devil especially wants to destroy our children because they are the future. He wants to confuse them, steal their innocence, and create selfish and heartless bullies.

"You can’t shield your children from the world forever” you might say and yes, you’re absolutely right, but as a parent it is my responsibility to build a strong foundation for my children. We need to teach them about God and His love and righteousness. About kindness, gratitude, respect, and most importantly teach them about their identity in Jesus Christ, so when they do go out into the world they will be CONFIDENT, BRAVE, and UNASHAMED of their maker and they will know who their Father is, so that no lie of the devil will ever shake their faith! And when they do fall they will know that their heavenly Father will be right there to catch them!

You can teach your child all you want about anti-bullying, but if you don’t set an example in private, in your own home, then all that teaching is gone to waste.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that went something like this ..”You know who I saw at the store today whom I haven’t seen in years? She has changed. She got soo fat!” yep, years ago I participated in that conversation. I remember chuckling and thinking what I was being told was funny until I found out that the same girl was battling so many health issues and also had a chronically sick child. It might seem funny in the most twisted way, but NOT SO FUNNY when kids start making fun of other kids and we scratch our heads thinking where did we go wrong?!

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:29

The soothing tongue is a tree of life,

but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 15:4

I know how intimidating it can be to raise a child in these modern and confusing times where darkness is glorified and if you’re different or not up to date on the latest media/trends then you’re looked down upon…But you see, God warned us about these times and it will only get worse "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power.” 2 Timothy 3

This is the time when our families and CHILDREN should shine the brightest! Raising a child in a home that pleads the Blood of Jesus and commands the darkness to flee should be NORMAL! Teaching our children about the unconditional love of our heavenly Father and the Holy spirit should be NORMAL. Teaching our children to LOVE ALL PEOPLE should be NORMAL. Standing out by not being like the world should be NORMAL! You know why? BECAUSE WE ARE NOT FROM THIS WORLD! That’s why God said "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Mathew 5:10 GOD KNEW! He knew that this world will not accept you and he KNEW that people will try to put you down. Why are we still trying to blend in?

The Bible emphasizes so much about how God loves children. He even said that “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.” Mathew 18:3

I never knew that a child could teach me so much until I became a mother. Children are so quick to forgive and their innocence is amazing. They fully depend on the parent and will believe whatever you tell them. You tell them about Jesus and how He heals and they believe…It's black and white to them. THERE’S NO GRAY AREA. Us grown-ups can sometimes complicate everything.

If you teach them and show them LOVE they will love. It’s that simple.

If the living spirit of God lives in us then it shouldn’t be hard to NOT flip out when a car cuts you off. It shouldn’t be hard to show kindness to the cashier lady who is scanning your groceries extra slow. The more you fill yourself up with Jesus, the easier it is. Loving people shouldn’t be forced. If I don’t constantly fill myself up with God’s truth through his word, prayer, and worship then I notice how easily I can lose it. A few days ago my older two were fighting non-stop and I was already so tired, so after my son spilled milk for the third time in 5 minutes I yelled “What is wrong with you?” He looked so frightened and his lower lip started quivering. I quickly realized what I had done and hugged him asking him for forgiveness. Absolutely NOTHING is wrong with him. He’s acting like any 5 year old boy would and I would never want him thinking that something is wrong with him. That’s what happens when we try to parent on our own without the help of Jesus.

How are we treating our spouses? Our children are watching. How are we speaking to our girlfriends on the phone? Our children are listening. How are we acting in private when nobody is watching? God is watching. You are NEVER ALONE.

There are so many hurt children in the foster care system or living in broken homes and their behavior can be the result of that..But how about us? The ones who claim to be Christians..What’s OUR EXCUSE?

We need to teach our children love and NOT JUDGEMENT, kindness and not hate, compassion and not gossip.

Also, know that in God you are a new creation and those who love Him believe that He (Jesus Christ) lives in their hearts therefore nothing carnal can come out of their mouth. “For whatever is in your heart determines what you say” Mathew 12:34

Let us parents unite and pray for wisdom, guidance, and strength from God as we raise the next generation of strong and courageous revivalists.

Nadia Tari

Founder of www.capitalHOPE.com